With an increasing amount of cars/motorcycles/bicycles/buses/trishaws flooding the roads of Malaysia, accidents are bound to happen. In today's lesson, we will be diving into how to avoid them or in some certain cases of stupidity, decrease the amount of accidents per annum. Thus provide you with savings to spend on upgrades later like baseball bats, turbo boost, spinners, spoilers and an extensive medical kit (For when your fighting skills fails you).
.Lesson Two.
In order to avoid accidents, drivers should pay attention to the road and be focused. So please follow these instructions stated below:
1. Always signal in the direction you wish to go.
- One second signal doesn't count. People are not as observant as you think.
- If you can flick your middle finger when somebody cuts you, you're more than capable to flick the signal. Use that middle finger for a better purpose. Middle fingers can save lives.
- NEVER signal and take your own sweet time to enter the lane. If you do, expect a car to come and smash your bumper.
- ALWAYS know where you're going and signal appropriately. If you're lost, buy a GPS system. If you're still lost, stop and ask for directions. If you're STILL lost, you're an idiot. Stay home and start knitting or take up public transportation. Nope. Don't get me started on public transport. Just stay home.
2. Always be vigilant and observant of your surroundings.
- You're not Spiderman so check your mirrors to know where the other cars are.
- DON'T use your mirrors to check how good looking you are while driving. It might be the last thing you remember.
- Refrain from texting/sexting/facetiming/foursquaring/facebooking or whatever social interactions via devices while driving. You might just end up being the Mayor of a nearby hospital.
- NEVER do any physical acts with your passenger while driving. There's a time and place for everything in this new age era and cars aren't playgrounds. Go to your local park and go crazy there. *This includes making out, kinky sex acts, roughhousing, poking etc*
3. Be courteous and speed according to the limit.
- If you see another driver signalling to enter your lane, don't be a
- If you're late for work, DON'T start flashing your lights and tailgate expecting a sympathy pass from every car in front of you. Wake up early next time, idiot.
- If you're stuck in a traffic jam, DON'T look for an easy way out and swing in and out the traffic. Shaving off seconds doesn't get you the champagne treatment on the podium. Refer above to avoid traffic, idiot.
- DON'T hog the fast lane and drive at a measly 40km/hr. You're looking for trouble. And Trouble will be in touch soon.
- If you're a defensive driver, that's always a plus point. BUT don't keep flooring the brakes every 5 damn seconds. Driving it's not the same as being in a conga line. If you're too afraid to drive, then don't. STAY HOME.
4. Whatever you do, NEVER EVER pick your nose while driving. It might cause others to drive off a cliff. Be considerate will you? Sheesh.
That will be it for now. I might come back and indulge more on this topic later when more idiots roam the freeway. I do hope that at least by the next lesson, road accidents caused by nose pickers will be reduced significantly. Heh. Wishful thinking.
Sadly, I didn't get to key the car that cut me off yesterday. *Sigh* Hope that tomorrow will be a better day for us all! =)
