.Lesson Three.

I don't believe in angels, no. But I do have a wee parking angel. It's on my dashboard and you wind it up. The wings flap and it's supposed to give you a parking space. It's worked so far - Billy Connolly

In most countries that I've been to, driving has never been too much of a harrowing experience. It was at least bearable to a point where my mind can still function after the ordeal. However, here in home sweet home, I came to find that almost everyone who visits Malaysia and drives the length of their stay here, ultimately changes their way of handling themselves on the road. In other words, they turned to the dark side.

I will try my best and focus on one thing at a time in my lessons. And as for today, continuing from lessons on avoiding accidents, we will indulge more on parking your vehicles. Properly. 

.Lesson Three.

Now as you know, parking here can be such a bitch. How can it not be? With increasing amount of drivers plus the idiot ones and insufficient parking places, it is essential to know some of the parking etiquette and forbidden parking practices.

1. LEARN how to park your vehicle properly.

- It will be damn obvious to people that you don't know a single thing about it if you take more than 5 minutes to park your car. So take some time off work, go home and practice the skills to perfect parking before you incur the wrath of 'The Key'.

2. Maintain the IDEAL distance between yours and theirs.

- Always ensure an ideal space for you to exit your vehicle after you've parked your car. 

- Ideal space here cannot be defined as able to open your door to the full extent. If the driver on your left side can't get in/out of their car, you know you've taken too much space to park your Kancil(refer Google for Malaysian made cars).

3. Be PATIENT.

- Always take a breather along when finding a parking space. It doesn't help to rush forward/backward as it causes confusion. People might think you're trying to rob/rape/find/kill somebody.

- But please don't drive too slow to find a space. If you want, drive slightly on the left/ right to let other people pass through.

4. Use your BRAIN.
- If you have no other choice and have to double/triple/quadruple park, please leave your contact number on your dashboard so that it's easy for the other person to call you when they want to drive out to their next destination. Failure to do this WILL result in smashed windshield, punctured tires, keymarks and most fun of all! Invisible vehicle. Trust me. It's amazing what rage can do these days.
- Furthermore, don't ask your passenger to get out, look for parking on foot and reserve one until you get there. Chances are you might not see him/her anymore. You have been warned.

Essentially, parking is a necessity. We can all be respectful of each other with the simple act of properly parking our vehicle in the space given. If not, I pray for my soul, that the world doesn't descend into anarchy. Hah.

Enjoy your parking rights while it lasts!